slightly sarcastic travelling blog

Month: March 2017

Kilometer 15 559: how to become a broad-shouldered millionaire

Is your life a pursuit for wealth? Are you excited by the idea of taking a bath in a swimming pool filled with banknotes? Or maybe just a humble shopping spree with a briefcase full of money? This is a country made for you. Nowhere else can you become a millionaire so quickly.


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Kilometer 14 890: if it’s Tuesday, we must be in Samarkand aka how to see Uzbekistan in 55 hours

It’s been almost six months since we’re on the road. Exactly a quarter of our expenses goes for visas. There comes a moment when you say: piss off, Uzbekistan. 180 bucks per person for all visa formalities, seriously? To get a one entry ticket and spend each night in a government-approved hotel, because you need to register? If you want expensive holidays, you go skiing to Davos and not backpacking to Central Asia. If that’s how they want to treat us, we’ll find a way.

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Kilometer 14 802: who was the first to wear socks with high heels aka Turkmen fashion

Dolce and Gabbana could come here to get inspired and express their admiration for the innovative marrying of various fabrics and the choice of motives.


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Kilometer 14 693: on the edge of Inferno

You’re just a bit anxious. After all, a complete stranger is telling you to leave his vehicle somewhere in the middle of an absolute nowhere.


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Kilometer 14 424: the city of Jetsons, fountains and overzealous police officers

Meet George Jetson and his wife Jane. Visit their shining sterile futuristic city.


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Kilometer 14 159: Turkmen visa, aka “and today’s winning numbers are…”

– Good morning Turkmenistan, can I have one visa to go?

– No visas today! Supplier didn’t show up!

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Kilometer 13 874: on pollution, bazaars and insulting Iranians in practice


– Mister, what is your idea about Iran? – I heard for the seventeenth time while I was strolling around the bazaar. My sex rarely stops people here from calling me “mister”.

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